You might be ready to put your money where your mouth is, but what about your dignity?
Ever lost a bet to a mate? Pals can be brutal when it comes to having you pay the price for failure, and it seems sections of the close-knit FIFA community are no different.
Since the game’s earliest incarnation, players of EA Sports’ football franchise have been entering into wagers with each other, designing forfeits intended to shame their opponent in the most amusing way they can think of.
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In celebration of the release of FIFA 19, Goal has rounded up some of the ridiculous and riotous ‘rules’ that gamers have laid out for friends.
In addition to having to carry out any pre-approved penalties simply for losing, being defeated by a margin of five goals requires that the loser post a Facebook status apologising to friends and family for shaming them, describing in great detail the manner of their momentous loss and how they have brought dishonour to the beautiful game.
You must refer to your opponent by the title of their choosing (my king/queen, your greatness, etc.) and retrieve them a drink or snack of their choosing upon request.
Create a Facebook group with a title of the winner’s choosing – “Why [your name] is terrible at FIFA”, for example – and invite your entire friend list. The group’s description must go into detail about the loss and be approved by the victor.
A more personal touch, this one: you must handwrite a letter to the winner’s parents, explaining why their offspring is superior to you in every way.
Phone a public service number of your choice (directory enquiries or your favourite take-away place, for example) and proceed to explain and apologise for your embarrassing loss. The phone call must last a minimum of one minute.
If the person on the other line hangs up before one full minute is reached, a new number must be called and the process begins anew until completion.
Using a custom greeting card website of your choice, you must create a bespoke card for the victor apologising for the shameful manner of your defeat.
Knock on a neighbour’s door and explain to them how you have let down everyone around you.
Play your next match completely naked with only the game’s box as a cover for your modesty. If you can find the box, that is.
Your opponent is granted 13 uninterrupted minutes to do whatever they wish on your Facebook page. All alterations and posts must remain for the duration of the evening, though no password changes are allowed.
Print a custom t-shirt with the words “I lost by 14 goals on FIFA to [winner’s name] because I’m rubbish” or similar. The t-shirt must be worn on a night out of the victor’s choosing.
Snap your copy of FIFA in half and upload a picture of it to Facebook, describing why you don’t deserve to have it. You must then spend a full week reflecting on your failure before you have the right to purchase a new copy.