The gathering quickly went awry, however, when Trump decided to unload on his generals for attempting to discuss Afghanistan strategy.

“You should be killing guys. You don’t need a strategy to kill people,” Trump said, according to Woodward.

“Don’t testify. It’s either that or an orange jumpsuit.”

Despite Trump’s reported insistence that he would be “a real good witness” in an interview with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, the president’s former lawyer John Dowd—who resigned in March—firmly believed that Trump would commit perjury if he talked to Mueller.

According to Woodward, Dowd explained to Mueller in January that he did not want the president to do an interview because he didn’t want to “sit there and let him look like an idiot.”

The president’s attorney also worried that if a transcript of the interview leaked, as it inevitably would, people would say, “I told you he was an idiot. I told you he was a goddamn dumbbell. What are we dealing with this idiot for?”

Dowd later pleaded with Trump directly: “Don’t testify. It’s either that or an orange jumpsuit.”

“He’s this dumb Southerner”

Trump has a well-known habit of berating Attorney General Jeff Sessions in public, but according to Woodward, Trump uses far more abrasive and offensive language to ridicule Sessions behind closed doors.

“This guy is mentally retarded,” Trump said of the former Alabama senator he picked to lead the Justice Department. “He’s this dumb Southerner… He couldn’t even be a one-person country lawyer down in Alabama.”

“An administrative coup d’etat”

Reportedly alarmed by Trump’s volatile combination of ignorance and impulsiveness, Woodward reports that top White House aides devised a strategy of stealing documents from the president’s desk so he wouldn’t see or sign them.

In Woodward’s account, last spring former National Economic Council director Gary Cohn swiped “a letter off Trump’s desk” the president planned to sign that would have withdrawn the U.S. from a trade agreement with South Korea.

Cohn later told an associate that Trump never noticed the letter was missing.

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