RAW this week starts with video of Edge’s rant that started last week’s RAW. Batista came out and beat Edge down. Punk then came out and cashed in his MITB briefcase and won the title with the GTS. JBL then proceeded to challenge Punk for a title shot and declared martial law. JBL threw Cena out, using JBL’s own security. The title match started with JBL’s security around the ring. JBL had the upper hand until Cena showed up on the stage with Cryme Tyme. They came down and beat down the security guards. Punk hit the GTS and beat JBL to retain his title.
Steph is on the screen. She says Shane asked everyone to pull together last week, but there was chaos. She begs everyone to work as one this week.
Vickie is in the ring getting HUGE heat. She tries to bring them to order and they just get more and more unruly (Eddie would be so proud!). She says she has something to say. “You suck” chants. She says all due respect to Steph, then introduces herself. She says tonight… “You suck” chants. Tonight she’s there to protest Punk becoming the Heavyweight Champion. She will not leave the ring until Punk surrenders the title to her. She wants, no demands an apology.
Punk’s music hits and he comes out to great pop. He poses in a corner with his strap and kisses it. He flashes it in Vickie’s face then bounces around with it some more. He’s so happy and cute with the belt.
Vickie asks how he dares celebrate. “CM Punk” chants. She asks how he dares celebrate. He unfairly took advantage of an unconscious Edge to take the title from him. Edge is about to have a nervous breakdown and called off the wedding. Punk almost laughed.
He said she’s going to be hard pressed getting any sympathy from him or the fans. He won MITB and could challenge any champ any time her wants. What goes around comes around. Punk didn’t do anything that Edge didn’t do to others.
Vickie says the difference is that the other opponents weren’t getting married.
Punk tells her to chillax. He’s sure someone else will act like he’s in love with her to get ahead. SD! is full of young studs looking to get ahead. Heck, there’s Khali! They could honeymoon in New Delhi.
She struggles to her feet and bitch smacks him.
Punk tells her she just won a one way trip to SD! He starts pushing Vickie’s wheelchair to the side of the ring.
JBL comes out in his limo. He comes out with a mic and says he only won by interference last week. JBL should be champion this week. This week he will leave champion. He’s challenging Punk again. If Vince was there he’d agree.
Punk says Vince isn’t there. JBL had his shot and he lost.
JBL says he didn’t lose anything. Punk’s illegal interference saved him. It came about because one’s man’s personal vendetta…
Cena’s music and he comes out to the ring. Cena say says he has a major announcement. He says JBL seems to have a case of wasn’t fors. If it wasn’t for this, if it wasn’t for that… If it wasn’t for JBL Cena, wouldn’t have been thrown out last week. If JBL wants to play the blame game he should go back to where he came from. For once he should shut his mouth and listen to Punk.
Punk thanks Cena and they shake.
Cena says no one’s in charge. He tells JBL to take off his diaper and stop pooping himself. In two weeks is GAB and Punk needs a challenger. JBL needs to learn math, there’s two of them there. They can do rock, paper, scissors. Or tonight they can have a main event and the winner faces Punk at GAB.
Batista’s music hits and he comes out. He says hi and wanted to come out for a few reasons. First of Punk… No matter what people say, he went through hell to win MITB and deserves the title he won. He wants to say hi to his good friend Vickie. He looks at her and says hi. He says she made him miserable on SD! He’s so sorry her life is so bad and she’s so miserable. No, he says, he can’t stand her and wants her to wheel her way back to SD! Batista thinks…
JBL says he doesn’t care what he thinks.
Batista says he wants to put his fist in JBL’s face.
They start arguing but Cena cuts them off and suggests a Triple Threat Match. The fans love it!
JBL says he’s running things with Vince gone.
Cena says JBL’s a loud mouth and he’s out voted. If JBL doesn’t want in, then he’s out and it will be Batista and Cena. The fans like that idea.
JBL jumps in and says he’ll do it, but if they gang up on him…
Kane’s music! He comes stomping out to the ring, JBL looks shocked. He takes JBL’s mic. He says he wants in, too.
Punk says there goes Cena’s idea of a Triple Threat, but it now looks like a Fatal Four Way. He tells them, “Good luck boys!”
Punk leaves the ring and all four glare around the ring at each other. Cena looked worried, JBL looked pissed and worried, Kane smirked and Batista looked his normal insane/cool self.
– Commercial
Cole and King talk about the Big Easy. King says they don’t mean Vickie. They’re in New Orleans tonight.
Rey comes down to the ring. Cole says that Rey told him earlier that he has butterflies for this first match on RAW tonight. Santino comes down to the ring looking surly. Video of Santino getting pissy at Rey in the ring last week. Santino talks about the mask, how anyone behind a mask must be ugly or Batman and Rey’s no Batman.
Santino tries to bully Rey, but it doesn’t happen. Head scissors to Santino. Santino then gets the upper and hand and covers for two twice in a row. Drop head butt to Rey’s gut. Chinlock on Rey in the center of the ring, then he starts working on Rey’s lower back. Santino gets hung on the second rope for the 619, but gets up and hits a clothesline on Rey. Rey comes back with kicks and a hard kick to the side of the face when Santino telegraphs. Rey covers for two. Rey jumps up and comes off the top ropes. Standing drop kick to Santino’s back followed by a 619. Rey climbs and flies off the corner to cover Santino for three.
– Winner: Rey
The fans give Rey huge pop as he goes up the ramp.
– Commercial
Grisham is out back with Punk. He asks who Punk want to win the match tonight.
Punk says the cliche answer is that he doesn’t care, but… A light falls over in front of Punk. They look down at the fallen light while a couple guys pick it up. Punk starts to say he is pulling for someone, but then Snitsky is standing behind his shoulder. Snitsky says he was drafted before but didn’t get a title shot. He riles up Punk who gives him a match tonight.
Mickie is talking to Cena, flirting. Kelly comes up and asks if Mickie’s ready for their match. Mickie says she is and asks Cena if he knew Kelly is the newest RAW Diva.
Cena asks about Teddy Long letting Kelly out of her ECW contract.
“We have contracts?” was Kelly’s response.
Mickie acts all funny about it and drags Kelly off.
Cena says, “God bless America.” in his funny/smirking way.
– Commercial
Jillian is in the ring singing. Layla is in there with her, obviously her tag partner. Kelly comes bouncing out in a black patten bra top, boy shorts and legs. Mickie comes bouncing out in a chocolate version of her wrestling gear.
Jillian and Mickie lock up. Arm bar to Mickie who flips out. Mickie takes Jillian down, Jillian reverses to a head scissors move on the mat. Low drop kick to Jillian’s knee. Cheap shot to Layla. Kelly tags in, takes Jillian down and covers for two. Head scissors to Jillian, twice! The second time Kelly covers for two. Jillian flips Kelly over the top, but she hangs on and manages to get her feet on the apron. Jillian knocks her form the apron. Outside Layla attacks Kelly and rolls her in. Jillian covers for two. Jillian stretches Kelly backward in a hold. Kelly gets out, but then slammed down. Kelly’s backed into a corner and whipped out. Jillian goes for a cart wheel back elbow, but Kelly jumps up to land on her shoulders. Kelly flips around and drops Jillian. Kelly covers for three.
– Winners: Kelly & Mickie
The girls start to celebrate in the ring but JBL’s music hits and his limo comes out. The driver gets out of the car and runs to the back of the car, but not to his normal door.
– Commercial
JBL is trying the limo doors. King says he walked from out back. He’s not in his wrestling gear, but still in his suit.
Cena gets out of the back of the limo with a crow bar. He says that JBL tossed him out, for JBL’s protection. And JBL didn’t want to be in the match, for his protection. Cena’s there to help him as they don’t like limos. Louisiana has strict laws and this thing won’t pass inspection. Lucky for JBL Cena knows two guys who can get parts fast. Cryme Tyme gets out of the other side of the limo.
Cena says Louisiana won’t let a limo drive without a passenger side mirror. He asks JTG if he see a passenger side mirror. JTG uses a bat to take the mirror off.
Cena says limos have to have ventilated windshields. He asks Shad to take care of that. Shad does with a metal pipe.
Cena goes on about the tint job. Shad and JTG take out all the windows, especially the one over JBL’s name.
Cena says he knows all the cops will be looking for a white limo, so these guys will give JBL a custom paint job.
JBL is yelling and screaming from the stage as JTG, Shad and Cena use cans of spray paint on the limo. Cena writes across the front – JBL is a poopy.
Cena says the car is now legal thanks to Cryme Tyme and good luck in the Fatal Four Way.
Cena then writes ‘CTC’ in a big circle. Cryme Tyme also put ‘CTC’ on the car in spray paint. All I can think of is it stands for Cryme Tyme & Cena.
Replay of the video that they started RAW with this evening.
Punk comes out, still all grins. He goes down and sits on the hood of the limo and lays the belt across the hood he’s yelling to the fans and smiling. He then starts heading for the ring.
– Commercial
Snitsky comes out to face Punk.
They lock up and Punk is thrown into a corner. Punk comes out kicking. Punk is whipped but gets his feet up. Snitsky then stomps Punk in a corner. Punk comes out punching, but doesn’t get far. Punk is slammed down. Snitsky drops two elbows and covers for two. Bear hug to Punk. Punk battles out but runs into a back elbow. Snitsky tries to drop a leg, but Punk moves. More kicks from Punk. Punk ducks a clothesline then hits an enziguri. Punk takes Snitsky down. In a corner Punk knees Snitsky in the face. Bulldog from the corner. “CM Punk” chants. He gets Snitsky up! GTS and Punk covers for three.
– Winner: Punk
Video of key points in the match. Punk celebrates in the ring, holding his back. But he still has that huge grin on his face.
HBK is out back heading for the ring, he has a black eye and a bandage above said eye.
– Commercial
Video of Bourbon St. that looks very empty.
Video of Y2J talking to HBK about his fakes knee injury. HBK super kicked Y2J in the face. Y2J turns heel and calls HBK all sorts of names. Y2J then attacks HBK and puts his face through the jeritron. Y2J then taunts HBK. NOC Y2J faced Kofi. HBK got involved and Y2J lost his title to Kofi. Y2J then attacked HBK and punched his (now) bad eye.
HBK comes out to the ring. He throws his hat to the crowd and paces. He says last week Y2J challenged him to a match at GAB. Injury or no injury HBK has two words fo ya – The fans yell “suck it!” HBK says, “I accept.”
Y2J’s music. Y2J comes out with Cade in tow. HBK looks unimpressed. Y2J says he knew HBK would accept, he was counting on it. Even though his eye is worse than he’s letting on, he knew his pride wouldn’t let him back down. All Y2J had to do when facing Batista was tell HBK to get up and HBK went to take another beating. That HBK hasn’t tried to attack Y2J yet means HBK is really hurt. HBK is hugely disadvantaged, but he’ll do it. Why he’s doing it is because he’s the injured hero to give a great match to the fans. Y2J asks if he wants to be a martyr. If HBK end up in the hospital will the fans visit you? Will they help pay your mortgage or your kids’ education. No, they’re nothing but like every other martyr he’ll be swept under the carpet and forgotten.
HBK says this whole time he thought Y2J despised HBK as a liar and phony. But Y2J knows HBK lived his whole life in front of the fans, an open book. HBK could leave the ring and be a hero forever. No matter what he does the fans just…
Y2J says the fans give him a free pass. That doesn’t make it fair.
HBK says it doesn’t make it fair. Y2J is the epitome of success, held every title. He’s done everything he’s wanted to accomplish in the ring, but he’s not content, he’s got no peace. In spite of all his accomplishments and all he ever achieves, he’ll never be HBK.
– Commercial
Haas is in the ring. Kofi comes out to face him.
Side headlock on Kofi. Kofi pushes out and jumps over Haas a couple times. Huge arm drag to Haas. Haas chokes Kofi on the bottom rope. Kofi throws punches but telegraphs and gets a punch to the back. Haas kicks Kofi in the face. Headlock take over and a kick to Kofi’s back. Haas covers for two. Headlock on Kofi in the center of the ring. “Let’s go Kofi” chants! Kofi works to his feet and out, but gets hit with a head butt. In a corner Haas throws punches. Kofi comes out punching. Kofi jumps to the second level in a corner and flies out in a cross body. He does his little dance and double leg drop on Haas. Huge spinning heel kick to Haas’ face and Kofi covers for three.
– Winner: Kofi
Kofi celebrates in the ring. Burchill is suddenly in the ring and attacks Kofi from behind. He hits a huge neck breaker followed by the curb stomp to Kofi.
Out back Batista is getting ready for his match. Some little scrawny guy runs in front of Batista and does his machine gun entrance, then runs off. Two guys from security chase him off. Batista looks at where the guy went and shakes his head before laughing and shaking his head again.
– Commercial
Lillian announces the Fatal Four Way Match. Batista is the first to the ring. JBL comes out to huge heat, he has to walk out. He stops and stares at the limo with his hands on his hips. Kane comes out and does his full entrance with fire from the corners. Cena is last man out. He points at the limo from the stage with a huge grin on his face.
Cena runs and slides in the ring. JBL attacks him and goes for a quick cover but Kane gets involved. Batista and JBL start fighting in one corner while Kane beats on Cena in another corner.
– Commercial
Hard punches to JBL’s head from Batista. Kane hits a huge elbow on Cena. Spinebuster to JBL, Kane breaks up the pinfall. Kane slams Batista down and Cena breaks the count. Cena breaks a choke slam. Cena gets Kane up for the FU, but JBL kicks him in the face. Double big boot between JBL and Kane, both drop. Everyone’s down. Cena ducks JBL’s clothesline and manages to take JBL down. FU to Batista and JBL breaks the count.
– Commercial (?!?!?!?!?!)
Cena slams JBL but Kane interrupts the five knuckle shuffle. Batista throws punches at Kane. Batista takes JBL down. Back elbow from Batista drops JBL. Spine buster to Cena but turns around into a JBL clothesline. Cena locks the STFU on JBL but Kane breaks it. Sets up Cena for a choke slam. JBL is then also in Kane’s clutches. Cena and JBL work together to take down Kane. JBL and Cena end up outside. Kane slams Batista into a corner. JBL, outside, uses stairs on Cena. Kane hits an upper cut on JBL outside. Kane knocks JBL over the barrier. Kane climbs on the apron and up. Kane flies but Batista drops out of the way. Batista spears Kane and covers for three.
– Winner: Batista
Batista slowly climbs out of the ring and leaves the ring area. Video of Kane flying and Batista dropping out of the way, the spear and the pin. Batista celebrates on the stage.
Kane’s in the ring totally pissed off. He drops out of the ring and tosses a set of stairs aside. He slams his arms on the announce table in fury. Kane screams, “Is he alive or dead?” Kane takes down a sound guy then goes after Lillian. The bell guy runs when Kane goes after him. He goes over to the announce table and demands from Cole, “Is he alive or dead? Tell me!” Kane grabs Cole and drags him over the announce table. Kane pushes him in the ring and follows. “Jerry” chants. He pulls him to his feet demanding an answer. He keeps demanding an answer from Cole. He starts to choke slam Cole but King hits a chop block on Kane. Cole falls to the mat in a corner. King rushes to Cole’s side, but Kane has other ideas.
Still screaming about ‘him being alive or dead’ Kane grabs King and starts slamming him around. Kane beats the hell out of King finishing with a sharp kick before leaving the ring.
Biggest pop
Cena
Punk
HBK
Cryme Tyme
Biggest heat
JBL
Y2J
Kane (at the end)