John: Welcome to the World’s Greatest Survivor Series preview for 2007. How about a quick history lesson shall we? The first ever World’s Greatest PPV preview was written by myself and an old friend named Matt Spence for the old Oratory way back at WrestleMania XV in 1999. From there I went on to preview pretty much every WWE PPV that there’s been up until Judgment Day 2005. It stopped at that point largely because the guys I was writing with, like myself, weren’t writing a whole lot. Two and a half years later, after my buddy Dave “Spinner” Spinosa messaged to ask if I want to get the band back together for a preview I thought sure why the hell not? So here we are, back at the preview game one more time.
I’ll start out by saying I haven’t watched that much wrestling since June because…well you know. A lot of my favorites were on the shelf like Edge and Shawn Michaels and then John Cena too, who I felt has had a great couple of years. Now with Michaels back, Edge due back any time now and Chris Jericho set to return on Monday my interest in WWE has increased to the point where I feel like I can write about it again. There will be another column about this company and what’s gone down in the past six months some point in the week, but for the sake of this preview let’s talk only about Survivor Series. I think it’s a mixed bag, personally. I love the Undertaker/Batista series of matches, I think Orton/Michaels always delivers the goods and the ten man elimination tag is going to be fine too. What I don’t get is how a company with 80 wrestlers or so can only fit six matches onto what is supposedly one of the big four pay-per-view events. Makes sense, though. The top matches sell and that’s what they’re relying on with this event. It won’t do as good as it would if Cena was there, but it should still be fine from a business sense.
Dave: There has been a sense of rejuvenation on the Oratory Forums and a wanting to go back to the days of old. Well, John and I (minus Drqshadow) decided to bring just that to you for one night and one night only..or maybe more?!?!??!?!
So, let’s get the World Great PPV Preview on the road with one the big ones folks. Survivor Series 2007. Im not particularly thrilled with this lineup but hey, it’s me and you want this to be as authentic as it should be right? So let’s bring the pessimism and get this show started.
John: This is supposedly a match that ends on the first fall because I think management realizes that half of the women in here should not even be in any type of match. I think Beth Phoenix is a tremendous talent and the best female to enter the company since Trish Stratus seven years ago. It’s a shame that Trish isn’t around right now because she’d be phenomenal in the underdog role against the Glamazon, which by the way is actually a cool name. I like Jillian Hall, Melina and Victoria a lot. Layla looks like she doesn’t belong. The babyface side is pretty week, but Mickie’s solid enough that she should carry the workload while the others probably won’t be in much. I have no idea who’s winning, but smart booking says that you have the faces go over in matches like this where the heel champion can lose without being pinned.
Winners: Mickie James, Maria, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool & Kelly Kelly
John: I guess people will find this amusing. Not me. I wonder if pure athletes that can wrestle incredibly well like Shelton Benjamin and Paul London are wishing they could be a midget or a giant instead of what they are presently. Apparently if they were either of those things they’d be on this card. I’m sick of Hornswoggle. We get it, he’s a midget. It’s not that funny. As for Khali, best promo in the business. What else can you say?
Winner: The Great Khali
John: I think CM Punk is retaining because Morrison’s probably still in the doghouse while Miz just isn’t a guy that should be champion at this point. Now, onto the more important question. Why call the show ECW and why have the belt represent ECW when nothing on the show is extreme? Why don’t they at least have extreme/hardcore matches for PPV title defenses at least? What’s the point of calling it ECW if it’s leading to straight up wrestling matches? That’s what I’d like to know. I guess somebody in WWE thinks that the ECW name will sell tickets or buys or something like that. It’s 2007 and we all know that’s not happening. I’d rather see CM Punk on Raw or Smackdown feuding with established guys like Finlay that can make him be better in the ring instead of wrestling other young guys like he is here.
Winner: CM Punk
So..let’s see? HHH gets the win after surviving a 3 on 1 assualt in which he magically comes back and destroy Umaga, Kennedy and MVP? Sounds pretty darn likely to me. I just wish they’d let either Jeff or Matt run with the ball. Tough to run with the ball though..when someone is cutting your legs out from under you.
Winner: Team HHHsssssssszzzzzzz.
John: I like pretty much everybody in the match save for Big Daddy V and Kane bores me so much at this point. Other than that it’s mostly good. It seems like the heel side is full of guys that lose more often than they win to the guys on the babyface side. Finlay rarely wins feuds, Umaga has lost to Triple H a couple times already, Kennedy’s losing a lot because of use his drugs despite his denials, MVP has been stuck in the Hardy relationship for many months and then Big Daddy V we know isn’t going to be winning a damn thing. That leaves the babyface side having survivors. I think HHH is a safe bet, so is Mysterio and then Jeff Hardy as well. I saw Matt’s injury angle on Smackdown that will probably lead to MVP eliminating him here and I’m thinking some sort of double countout thing takes out Kane with Big Daddy V. If it gets 25-30 minutes it could be really good, so hopefully they get that time because that’s what these elimination matches deserve.
Winners: Triple H, Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio
I don’t mean to pee-pee on this because it’s been done well but it hasn’t been done “Ill spend 40 bucks to see this show because of this match” well. On the other hand, HBK always shows up for the big shows and Orton can go when begged to.
Should be a good match but kids, remember, Orton is not the next thing. He’s the thing being forced up your ass because John Cena is hurt.
Winner: Randy Orton
John: Interesting choice of stipulations here with Orton losing the belt if he intentionally gets disqualified while Michaels loses the match if he uses the superkick. I’m not really sure how they’re going to end up there, but I feel confident in predicting that Orton leaves the match as champion. Michaels isn’t one to lose clean in World Title matches despite his renaissance of the last five years. He’s a guy that’s always going to be protected and Orton’s been booked only okay as the champ. That’s why I’m thinking something screwy happens where Michaels gets DQ’d or Orton wins after somebody interferes although I’m not really sure who that would be. The match quality will be good as usual with these two even with Michaels’ bad knees. As long as the dude is in the ring he’s going to have great matches. That’s what he does. The pick? Orton keeps his belt warm until dropping it to Triple H at Mania.
Winner: Randy Orton
They’ve whipped out the annual Hell in a Cell for this match and that tells me they are going with Taker as the champ here. If you recall, Taker was pinned as clean as he can be pinned by Batista at Cyber Sunday. Think that’s gonna happen again? No chance.
Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker
Don’t blow a freakin’ bicep apart again big guy..
John: If you would have told me back in January that the feud that produced the best matches in WWE this year involved The Undertaker and Batista I would have laughed at you. To their credit, though, they’ve done exactly that. I’ve loved watching their matches. I’m anticipating this one too because there’s no reason to think it will be bad. Big man power matches are great to watch when they’re good, which is the case when these guys are in the ring. I think what you’ll get here is 25-30 minutes, lots of blood, some big spots and in the end I see Undertaker winning the belt back to end the feud for now. Post match, maybe Edge comes back to attack both guys with conchairtos after they’re dead tired just because he’s cool like that. At least I hope that’s the case. Certainly better than more Taker/Khali matches.
Winner: The Undertaker
I wont be ordering..but if you do..enjoy. I’d rather have it be you that wastes the money anyway.
John: I will not be ordering the show live. That’s mostly because my interest in the company is pretty low at this point although it’s also because I’d rather watch the Patriots beat the Bills on Sunday night by more than 17 points because I bet on them. I’ll check out the show during the week at some point and maybe write about it if I can find the time. I don’t think it’s a bad show at all. The top three matches should all be above average while the other three don’t excite me much.
I’m hoping that this writing (and subsequent feedback hopefully) leads to a return to writing by me. I already am planning on writing about some past PPVs in the near future (look for King of the Ring ’97 by month’s end) and am hoping to write about the current scene soon too. Again, I’m not sure what exactly I’ll be doing, but I know that with the TV strike going on and NFL season ending soon that I’ll need something to fill some of my time. Might as well be wrestling again, right?
Enjoy Survivor Series.
Until next time, we’ll smell ya later,
John C. – [email protected]
Dave “Spinner” Spinosa – [email protected]