WWE Raw 07/09
We are taped in: Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
_________________________________________________
A recap of last week’s Raw ending plays. AJ gets involved in the main event and puts Daniel Bryan and CM Punk through a table. On Smackdown, AJ kisses them.
No regular intro. Instead Raw starts with AJ skipping down to the ring. She gets in the ring with a microphone in hand.
This Sunday, in the WWE Championship match, she will be the special guest referee. And she realizes that her actions can greatly affect the outcome of the match. And the thought of that is overwhelming and emotional. With that in mind, she would like the fans to help her welcome WWE Champion CM Punk.
CM Punk comes out and heads into the ring also with a mic.
Okay AJ, he’s here. What is this all about?
Last Friday on Smackdown, he showed his true feelings to her when he called her mentally unstable and that she needed professional help. Well she doesn’t. She is in full control of her faculties at all times. But his sentiment for her…
AJ pauses.
No one has ever cared about her let alone show compassion like he did. And when she kissed him, she knew it. She knew what she had to do. His eyes…they send love straight into her heart. He fills her up with passion and desire. In essence, he turns her on.
Punk rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.
And now she knows what she has to do.
AJ steps away from Punk and gets down on one knee.
“CM Punk…will you marry me?”
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”
Daniel Bryan runs into the ring shouting no.
AJ, please listen to him. She’s about to make the biggest mistake of her life, and he can’t allow her to do this. CM Punk doesn’t love her. Everyone knows it. He doesn’t love her. He’s just playing her because she’s the referee for their match on Sunday. AJ, he knows he hurt her in the past, but he never ever stopped having feelings for her. CM Punk, on the other hand, only cares about one person and that’s CM Punk.
First of all “Daniel” he doesn’t know the first thing about him let alone how he really feels about AJ, so shut up.
Oh, is that so? Go ahead. Say it. Say “I do”.
Punk pauses and doesn’t say anything.
You see, AJ? Punk sees her as a special referee. He sees her as a special person. They’re so connected. They both had the same idea. When he woke up this morning, he had no intention of stopping a proposal. He intended on making one.
Daniel Bryan gets down on one knee in front of AJ.
“AJ, will you marry me?”
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!
What a load of crap! You mean to tell him this was premeditated? Okay tough guy, where’s the ring? He thought about it, surely he’s not gonna propose without a ring. He doesn’t have one. He’s a joke. AJ, we’ll go to the back and discuss it-
Don’t talk like that about his future fiance!
The familiar dings of the anonymous Raw General Manager chime.
Cole shouts that he believes he just received an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager.
Cole unveils the laptop computer on its stand.
“And I quote…surprise!”
He’s back, and he’s running Raw tonight. He’s been watching this love triangle and he thinks Punk and AJ make a great couple. That’s why he’s making a tag match with CM Punk and AJ against Eve and Daniel Bryan.
NO! NO! That is not fair. We should be partners! NO! NO! NO!
More dings.
Don’t feel too bad, Bryan. Maybe if he beats Punk, he’ll be viewed by AJ in a different light. Or not. Either way, he wishes them all good luck.
AJ says this entire thing is confusing. She knows the proposal caught Punk by surprise and Bryan’s proposal caught her by surprise, so they should take time to think. They’re glad this match is happening tonight. She believes that everything happens for a reason. And she has a feeling that she’s going to walk out of the arena with her future husband.
AJ exits the ring and skips up the ramp leaving Bryan and Punk confused.
Later tonight, Chris Jericho and Big Show takes on John Cena and Kane.
-Commercial-
World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus comes out and heads to the ring for a match.
His opponent, already in the ring, is Jack Swagger.
[Match #1]
[Singles Match]
[Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger]
The bell sounds. They circle each other. Swagger witha side takedown. Sheamus hits Swagger with elbows to the head and Swagger knocks him into the turnbuckle. With Sheamus down, Swagger runs to the turnbuckle and goes for the Swagger Bomb, but Sheamus grabs him and counters with White Noise. Sheamus waits for Swagger to get up and hits the Brogue Kick for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Sheamus]
[Time: 00:54]
Alberto Del Rio appears on the Tron. He beeps the horn of his car.
Congrats, Sheamus. But remember, nobody is better than Del Rio. He did on Smackdown what nobody did before. He left him lying out on his back. And on Sunday, he’s going to do what nobody has done yet, and that’s take his championship.
Del Rio drives away. Sheamus, angered by this, hits Swagger with a second Brogue Kick and leaves the ring.
Backstage, Santino congrats Santino for winning the battle royal on Smackdown.
Ryder can’t believe he’s going to run Smackdown. It’s gonna be sick, and he’ll be better than that lame computer running Raw.
Santino says he’s going to find out who the Raw GM is with his Sherlock kit.
Santino takes out a cap, smoking pipe and magnifying glass. Ryder says good luck as Santino scans the area for clues.
-Commercial-
Michael Cole says that The Rock will be at the 1000th episode of Raw in two weeks.
Without warning, a tag team match is in progress. Ziggler and Tensai are taking on Christian and Tyson Kid.
[Match #2]
[Tag Team Match]
[Tyson Kidd & Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler & Tensai]
Tyson and Ziggler start it out. They trade blows until Kidd tags in Christian. Christian gets on the offensive and hits Ziggler with a diving back elbow off the top. Tensai tags in and Ziggler is thrown out of the ring. Tensai runs towards Christian and goes for a splash, but Christian moves out of the way. He goes for a spear but Ziggler grabs his leg. This allows Tensai to hit the splash and a running senton for the three count.
Winners via Pinfall: Tensai and Dolph Ziggler
Time: 01:04
After the match, Tensai beats up both Tyson and Christian and lays them out while Ziggler leaves with Vickie.
(Note: My apologies for the rushed recap. The match came out of nowhere and seemed thrown in just to fill time.)
Cole and Jerry bicker with each other and Cole spills water on Jerry. Cole then gets another message from the Anonymous Raw General Manager.
He says he can’t read this. He is not reading it tonight.
Lawler goes over and reads it. It says seeing Cole and Lawler bicker brings back memories. So in a WrestleMania rematch to bring back his glory days, Michael Cole will face Jerry Lawler.
Cole says he’s going to change it! He has to!
The GM chimes in again.
He’s going to let the WWE Universe decide if they want the match to happen. Do they want to see Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler? If so, go to WWE.com and vote yes or no!
-Commercial-
Brodus Clay comes out with the “Funkadactylus” and heads to the ring for a match.
Already at ringside is Drew McIntyre.
[Match #3]
[Singles Match]
[Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay]
Bell sounds. Drew and Brodus trade blows and Brodus powers Drew into the turnbuckle. Drew knocks Brodus back and climbs the turnbuckle only to be hit with a headbutt to the chest. He then hits a body splash on Drew for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Brodus Clay]
[Time: 00:32]
Afterwards, Brodus and his dancers dance with some kids.
Backstage, Santino meets Jericho and says he’s the anonymous GM.
He’s not the GM. He hates that guy. What if this is all a ruse and Santino is the Raw GM?
Jericho and Santino glare at each other. Santino questions whether or not he’s the GM and leaves.
Big Show shows up.
Jericho says he and Show were the greatest tag team of all time. They’re going to take care of Cena and Kane-
Show says the most embarrassing moments of his career was when he was part of “Jerishow”. Tonight, stay out of his way and let him take care of things.
Jericho watches Show leave. That tag match will be up next.
-Commercial-
Another Raw 1000 moment featuring Stephanie McMahon’s “wedding” to Test, and Triple H revealing they got hitched.
John Cena comes out and heads to the ring. He grabs a microphone.
He feels exactly what they feel. Six days from now in Phoenix, Arizona, the world with witness Money in the Bank. Winston Churchill once said if you’re going to Hell you might as well go all the way there. It’s a brutal match with one unbelievable reward. The risk in the match is nobody cares about pinfalls or submission. There is one common goal: a contract for the WWE Championship hanging above the ring. They all know that in six days even the nicest people can be ruthless with opportunity is literally hanging over your head. Ever since it started, the person willing to climb and grab the briefcase has always cashed it in to become champion. It is the Money in the Bank event that truly changes the landscape of the WWE. But for him it’s more than just one opportunity. At Money in the Bank he’ll do two things, and he stands by his word. Number one, the big unstoppable Big Show will finally be stopped by his hand. This he promises! Number two, he’ll do whatever to whomever in order to be the next Mr. Money in the Bank. You can quote it, post it and tweet it, John Cena will WIN Money in the Bank!
Lights go out. Kane comes out and heads down to the ring as Cena’s partner.
Lights go out again. Chris Jericho comes out and heads to the ring.
His partner, Big Show, comes out last.
[Match #4]
[Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. John Cena & Kane]
Bell sounds. Cena and Jericho start it off. Cena with a side headlock. Jericho twists out of it and goes for an arm lock, but Cena counters with a side headlock into a shoulder bump for a one count. Cena whips Jericho into the turnbuckle and hits a running bulldog. Tag to Show. Show gets in the ring. Cena and Show throw punches at each other. Cena off the ropes. Show grabs him and goes for the chokeslam but Cena slide out of it and tags Kane. Kane and Show grapple and Show shoves Kane into the turnbuckle. Another grapple and Show tosses him back in the turnbuckle again. Kane ducks a clothesline and throws punches to the head. Goes for a whip but Show sends him into the turnbuckle and hits a clothesline. Show picks Kane up and headbutts him down. Kane rolls out of the ring and Jericho hits him with a running kick. Show picks up Kane and lands a blow to the gut. Whip into the ropes and Show with a shoulder bump. Show picks Kane up and punches him in the stomach again. Tag to Jericho and Kane with a right hand. Tag to Cena. Cena grabs Jericho and clotheslines him against the turnbuckle before hitting a fisherman suplex for a two count. Jericho whips Cena into the ropes and Show clobbers Cena in the back of the head knocking him down.
-Commercial-
Show headbutts Cena to the ground. He picks Cena up and chops him in the chest. Show goes for a second chop, but Cena ducks it and goes for a scoop slam, but Show falls on him and gets a two count. Cena gets back up and runs the ropes only for Show to catch him with a bear hug. Cena gets out of it, gets behind Cena and hits a back suplex. Both men are out. Cena crawls over to Kane and makes the tag. Cena tags in Kane. Kane dropkicks Show in the face, jabs him in the throat and clotheslines him at the turnbuckle. Whip, counter, and Kane with a running DDT for a two count. Kane goes for the clothesline off the top, but Show moves out of the way and hits the spear for a two count. Show grabs Kane and punches him in the chest. Tag to Jericho. Jericho climbs up and hits Kane with a double axe handle. He kicks Kane down. Chris presses Kane against the turnbuckle and chokes him. He then presses his feet up against Kane’s shoulders followed by a knee to the back. Show grabs Kane and drops an elbow from the apron.
-Commercial-
Jericho with a sleeper submission on Kane. Kane fights out of it and drives Jericho’s back into the turnbuckle. Kane goes over to Jericho and Jericho with a boot to the face. Chris walks over to him and Kane with a side slam. Kane crawls over and tags Cena. Cena with shoulder tackles to Jericho followed by a Five Knuckle Shuffle. He then kicks Show off the apron. Jericho grabs Jericho and goes for Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters with Attitude Adjustment. He goes for the pin, but Show pulls Cena out of the ring and cheap shots him for a disqualification.
[Winners via Disqualification: John Cena & Kane]
[Time: 16: 32]
Show goes on a frenzy and attacks Cena and Kane. He then goes under the ring and grabs a couple ladder. He gets back in the ring, grabs a ladder and smacks Jericho and Kane with the ladder. Show places a ladder on the mat, puts Jericho on it and sandwiches him in the middle. Show sits on Jericho and applies his back submission, but Cena out of nowhere with a ladder to the back. He then hits Show in the head and Show falls out of the ring. Cena celebrates in the ring by raising the ladder over his head before tossing it out of the ring.
A recap of the opening segment is played. Tonight, Punk and AJ take on Daniel Bryan and Eve. Plus, will we see Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler?
-Commercial-
Backstage, Punk is stretching for his match. Eve walks over to him.
She says good luck tonight.
Punk says good luck getting the spray tan off the mat.
Eve says that she knows spiteful AJ can be, and if AJ doesn’t hear “I Do” from him, he doesn’t have a chance of retaining the title. He’s held the title for over seven months and it can’t be easy to be overshadowed by Rock, Austin, Triple H, even Brock Lesnar. But to be overshadowed by AJ…that must be pretty emasculating. Good luck tonight.
Eve leaves a frustrated CM Punk to his thoughts.
Meanwhile, Santino discovers the cell phone of the anonymous Raw General Manager. Great Kahli grabs the cell phone.
Santino asks if he’s the Raw General Manager.
Yes.
He is?
No.
Is he or isn’t he?
Who is that?
Santino calls him a “son a mah gun” and leaves.
Back at ringside, Sin Cara comes out and heads to the ring for a World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank qualifying match.
-Commercial-
The Money in the Bank pre-show is Kofi & R-Truth taking on Hunico & Camacho.
[Match #5]
[Money in the Bank Qualifying Match]
[Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater]
Sin Cara and Heath Slater start up as the bell ring. Cara bounces off the ropes and Slater with a neckbreaker for two. Slater punches Cara down on the mat and kicks him in the head. Slater with a body slam. Heath with punches in the head and a quick cover for two. Slater with a headlock submission. Cara gets up and kicks Heath in the side before running up the ropes and arm dragging him. Cara on the apron with a kcik to the head followed by a springboard cross body. Cara runs the ropes and hits La Mistica for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Sin Cara]
[Time: 01:43]
After the match, Slater gets up and grabs a mic.
This is not fair. He’s a future champion, and he’ll prove it. Send any former champion out and he’ll guarantee that he’ll beat him.
Bob Backlund comes out and heads down to the ring. Backlund waves to the fans and struts around the ring. He then offers Heath a handshake, and Heath kicks him in the gut. He then punches him down. Heath runs at him, but Bob ducks and applies the chickenwing crossface submission. Heath is tapping out. Backlund celebrates his “win”.
Cole interrupts to say the results for the Lawler/Cole match are about to come up.
And the result is…75% say yes! The match will take place.
How DARE them? They’re all a bunch of hypocrites. They say they don’t want him in a match, now they do, they should make up their damn minds! He’s a journalist, not a wrestler.
Cole gets cut off for a commercial break.
-Commercial-
Jerry and Cole are in the ring for their match. Booker T and Joey Matthews are taking their place.
[Match #6]
[Singles Match]
[Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler]
Cole tries to leave the ring, but Booker throws him back in. Jerry grabs Cole and airplane spins him for a few seconds before dropping him and pinning him for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Jerry “The King” Lawler]
[Time: 01:05]
The Anonymous Raw GM chimes up.
Joey Matthews says that due to interference by Booker T, the anonymous General Manager says that he’s reversing the decision and the winner is Michael Cole.
Winner via Disqualification: Michael Cole
Santino comes out.
He’s had enough! He says that he’s searched everywhere for the anonymous Raw GM, and the only place he could be is in the ring.
The anonymous Raw GM says he’s not. There’s absolutely nobody under the ring sending anonymous e-mails. Leave the ring now.
That sounds like a clue!
Santino exits the ring, and suddenly gets pulled under the ring. Jerry grabs him and pulls him out. Hornswoggle comes out with a laptop.
He, Santino and Jerry get in the ring.
Jerry says Hornswoggle was the anonymous Raw GM? He oughta put him over his knee and give him a spanking.
Hornswoggle kicks Jerry in the shin and bites Santino’s butt. Cole laughs, but gets kicked in the shin as well. Hornswoggle leaves the ring and retreats.
-Commercial-
This Friday will be Friday night “Zackdown” as Zack Ryder will be running Smackdown.
Cole asks Jerry to let bygones be bygones. Jerry says no.
Eve comes out and heads to the ring for the mixed tag match.
Her partner, Daniel Bryan, comes out next and heads to the ring.
AJ comes out next, and CM Punk comes out as her partner.
[Match #7]
[Mixed Tag Team Match]
[CM Punk & AJ vs. Daniel Bryan & Eve]
The bell sounds. Punk and Bryan start off. They trade forearm shots until Punk gains the advantage. Punk with knees to the head followed by a back body drop. Punk runs and goes for a spinning chop, but Bryan ducks and kicks Punk down. A series of kicks to the chest of Punk. Bryan lifts Punk up, but Punk counters and hits a dropkick. AJ tags Punk and gets in the ring. Eve gets in. Eve kicks AJ down, misses a clothesline and AJ with a Lou Thesz press. Eve shoves AJ into a turnbuckle and punches her, but AJ counters. Eve with a bicycle kick followed by a tackle. Eve with knee strikes to the chest followed by a hair pull. Eve runs the ropes and goes for a splash, but AJ gets the knees up. AJ kicks Eve in the leg and dropkicks her in the head. AJ with a running clothesline in the turnbuckle followed by a spin kick for a two count. Eve tries for a tag and AJ pulls her back. Eve kicks her away and goes to tag Bryan, but Bran jumps off the apron in refusal. AJ rolls Eve up from behind for the three count.
[Winners via Pinfall: CM Punk & AJ]
[Time: 03:18]
As Punk and AJ celebrate, Bryan grabs a microphone.
He just proved that AJ means more to him than any match. Why don’t they leave right now and go get married?
Bryan holds the ropes for AJ and offers his hand. Punk grabs a microphone.
He says he’s not going to blatantly try to lie and use her to get to her. He says Bryan wants to marry her, but he only wants her to help him become WWE Champion. He’ll lay it all out on the line right now, he doesn’t care if what he’s about to say costs him the match and his WWE Championship, but he’s not going to marry her. And if him saying that hurts her so much, then he’s sorry, but at least he cares enough about her to tell the truth.
AJ is crying. She looks at Punk, goes over to him and smiles…then slaps him in the face.
Bryan smiles and yells at AJ to come home.
AJ smiles as she goes over to Bryan…and she slaps him in the face! AJ starts chanting “YES!” along with the fans as she exits the ring and skips to the back. As Punk and Bryan watch her leave, the show comes to an end.